Full Calendar and Frustrated Feelings

My calendar has been filling up, which is a good thing. There’s a perinatologist shortage in the area and we were worried about how long it would take our practice to fit us in. Short answer? 2 weeks. I’ll take that, especially when I had been hearing 3 months from other sources!  Having a complicated pregnancy the first time around means we know what to expect this time, but also that if we get a head start we can avoid months of bed rest down the line. Getting an appointment in 2 weeks instead of 3 months will totally help that. 🙂

I’ve been feeling fed up with one of my other mama friends.  She’s typically a lovely woman. Except … she’s had picture perfect pregnancies on top of super-easy times getting pregnant with both of her beautiful children.  So she doesn’t understand that first off, we are more cautious anyway after having a miscarriage several years back, followed by a difficult time getting pregnant afterwards.  It used to drive me nuts when she would give me the platitude of “When it is time, it will happen.” That feels awful to hear after losing a baby – I always wished she had thought about how her words came across.  Was it true in some way? Perhaps. But it doesn’t feel good to hear the (underlying) message that “You can’t have a baby yet. It isn’t YOUR turn.”

This time, she thought and kept insisting that the problems I had with the last pregnancy would magically not appear this time. Except … it is an anatomical problem. I felt hurt by the lack of thought from her – she’s one of my best friends and knows all about the last pregnancy, so it just doesn’t make sense she’d just brush aside science and say “oh, it won’t be a problem this time. What are you worried about?” I’m worried about having to be on bed rest. I’m worried about having an extra surgical procedure. I’m worried about what we’re going to do for childcare for our little monkey man while I’m off my feet.

Mostly what frustrates me is that it is hard when people don’t understand.  “Oh I’d never be that cautious.” “I can’t imagine why you’d do that?” “It wasn’t like that when I was pregnant.” Really? No kidding. I get that from a few people and it just makes you want to say “That is why we are different people!” And perhaps shake them.


About sweetmamabear

a second-timer on this whole pregnancy thing - with the same complications of the first.

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